18 November 2008

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

*If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?*

Can you cry under water?*

*How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?*

*Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?*

*Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?*

*Why does a round pizza come in a square box?*

*What disease did "cured ham" actually have?*

*How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?*

*Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?*

*If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?*

*Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?*

*Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?*

*Why do doctors leave the room while you change?*

*They're going to see you naked anyway.*

*Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?*

*Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?*

*If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?*

*Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane ?*

*If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?*

*Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?*

*They're both dogs!*

*If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?*

*If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?*

*If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?*

*Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?*

*Why did you just try singing the two songs above?*

*Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?*

*Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?*

06 November 2008

FAMILY

I ran into a stranger as he passed by, "Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too; I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I. We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told, How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal, My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down. "Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken. I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed, God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use, but the family you love, you seem to abuse.


Go and look on the kitchen floor, You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you. He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small, And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed; "Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?" He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you. I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today; I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too, and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.


And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed, don't you think?
So what is behind the story?

Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU