Joke : Man and Woman

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that
she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until
she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future
until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more
money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find
such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must
understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love
her a lot and not try to understand her
at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men
do, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will
change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she
won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that, is the
beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU
ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at
weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next."
They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals.