Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .
The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar,
You have passed all the tests, except one.
Unless you pass it , you cannot qualify for this job.'
Mujibar said, 'I am ready.'
The manager said,
'Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink, and Green .'
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said,
'Mister manager, I am ready.'
The manager said, 'Go ahead.'
Mujibar said,
'The telephone goes green, green,
And I pink it up, and say, Yellow, this is Mujibar.'
Mujibar now works at a call centre.
No doubt you have spoken to him.
I know I have.
01 February 2012
Joke : Old Time Sex
This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!
The husband leans over and asks his wife,
'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?
We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.
I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks..
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence…
The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in..
Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed.
He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on.
The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,
'Excuse me, but that was something else.
You must've had a fantastic sex life together.
Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence'.
The husband leans over and asks his wife,
'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?
We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.
I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble.
So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks..
Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence…
The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in..
Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming.
Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed.
He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggles to their feet and puts their clothes back on.
The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them,
'Excuse me, but that was something else.
You must've had a fantastic sex life together.
Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence'.
Joke : Italian Tomato Gardener
An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey .
He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was too hard.
His only son, Frankie, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Francesco,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you'd be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Frankie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Frankie
He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was too hard.
His only son, Frankie, who used to help him, was in prison.
The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:
Dear Francesco,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year.
I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot.
I know if you were here my troubles would be over.
I know you'd be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Papa
A few days later he received a letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love, Frankie
At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies.
They apologized to the old man and left.
That same day the old man received another letter from his son.
Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you, Frankie
Find the Man in the Coffee Beans
FIND THE MAN IN THE COFFEE BEANS:
This is bizarre - after you find the guy - it's so obvious.
Once you find him - you think, why didn't I see him immediately?
Doctors have concluded:
If you find the man in the coffee beans in 3 seconds, the right half of your brain is better developed than most people.
If you find the man between 3 seconds and 1 minute, the right half of the brain is developed normally.
If
you find the man between 1 minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of
your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein.
If you have not found the man after 3 minutes, the advice is to look for more of this type of exercise to Sharpen your mind. Make that part of the brain stronger!!!
And, yes, the man is really there! Keep looking!
30 January 2012
Joke : Tiffany's
A lady walks into Tiffany's.
She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's, he politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
'Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam.. if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price.."
She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.
As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near.
As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's, he politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?
'Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam.. if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price.."
This is a Very Clever Stuff
In black you can read the word GOOD, in
white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is
a white letter).
Now, what do you see?
You may not see it at first, but the
white spaces read the word optical, the blue
landscape reads the word illusion. Look again!
Can you see why this painting is called an
optical illusion?
What do you see here?
This one is quite tricky!
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN.
Last one.
What do you see?
What do you see?
You probably read the word ME in brown,
but.......
When you look through ME you will see YOU!
When you look through ME you will see YOU!
Do you need to look again? Test Your Brain
Count every ' F ' in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.....
(SEE BELOW)
HOW MANY ?
WRONG, THERE ARE 6 -- no joke.
READ IT AGAIN !
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down.
The reasoning behind is further down.
The brain cannot process 'OF'.
Incredible or what? Go back and look
again!!
Anyone who counts all 6 'F's' on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
Anyone who counts all 6 'F's' on the first go is a genius.
Three is normal, four is quite rare.
More Brain Stuff . . From Cambridge
University .
Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this psas it on !!
Olny srmat poelpe can raed this.
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this psas it on !!
Human Body Facts
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs. :)
One human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs. :)
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