Joke : Tiffany's

A lady walks into Tiffany's.

She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.  Good looking as well.
Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany's, he politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam.  How may we help you today?

'Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'
He answers, "Madam.. if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price.."

This is a Very Clever Stuff

 

In black you can read the word GOOD, in white the word EVIL (inside each black letter is a white letter). 

Now, what do you see?  

You may not see it at first, but the white spaces read the word optical, the blue landscape reads the word illusion. Look again! Can you see why this painting is called an optical illusion? 
 

What do you see here?

This one is quite tricky! 
The word TEACH reflects as LEARN. 

Last one. 
What do you see? 

 

You probably read the word ME in brown, but....... 
When you look through ME you will see YOU!

Do you need to look again?   Test Your Brain 
Count every ' F ' in the following text: 
 
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE 
SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTI 
FIC STUDY COMBINED WITH 
THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS..... 
 
(SEE BELOW) 

HOW MANY ? 
WRONG, THERE ARE 6  -- no joke. 
READ IT AGAIN ! 
Really, go Back and Try to find the 6 F's before you scroll down. 
 
The reasoning behind is further down. 
The brain cannot process 'OF'. 

Incredible or what? Go back and look again!! 
Anyone who counts all 6 'F's' on the first go is a genius.    
            
Three is normal, four is quite rare. 

 

More Brain Stuff . .  From Cambridge University . 
Olny srmat poelpe can raed this. 
I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty  uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig  to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm.   This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! If you can raed this psas it on  !!   
 

Human Body Facts

 It  takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. 

One  human hair can support 3 kg (6.6 lb).

 The  average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.

 Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.

 A  woman's heart beats faster than a man's.

 There  are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
 
 Women blink twice as often as men.

 The  average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
 
 Your body uses 300  muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.

 If  saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

 Women reading this will be finished now.

 Men are still busy checking their thumbs. :)

Quiz

Got his from my friend. Test your logic.. :)

If:
1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 325
4 = 4325
5 = ?

Can you find out the correct answer?
The answer will be posted on comment a few days later. :)

Joke : Jewellery Store

A lady walks into a jewellery store.

She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farted.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little whoops and prays that a sales person wasn't anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Good looking as well.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional, he politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?

'Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?'

He answers, "Madam.. if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit when I tell you the price.."

Joke : Don't Mess with Chinese

This joke is for fun only. Please don't take it as a racist joke. ^^

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

A lawyer and an Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over on them, easy.

So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game. The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines, and tries to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says. This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?' The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the

lawyer.?

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up. He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Don't mess with Chinese.

Joke : Dog Story

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a

sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For

Sale .' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog

is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador

retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says

'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I

was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In

no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in

rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would

be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But

the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any

younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the

airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious

characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and

was awarded a batch of medals.'

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for

the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so

cheap?'

'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that sh*t.