The Essence of Being Alone

all your life, you had specific dreams about
what your family life would be like when you finally married.

you were so intent on what you wanted,
you even made a list of qualities and characteristics you were looking
for in a spouse, in a home,in your job, in your children.

but time passed, and that person you were so intent on
didn't come along.

all of your friends married, had children, had beautiful homes.

and still you were single. you prayed and prayed and
prayed for that person to come along, but nothing happened.

you had a good job. you served in your church.

you spent daily time with the Lord in prayer and
studying the word.

you dedicated your life to serving God in every way
possible, but still nothing.

so you decided to take matters into your own hands,
and you began an active search for a mate.

and within a short period, you met someone who almost fit the bill.

almost.

sure, there were a few things missing, a few rusty spots in that person's character.

but, after all, no one is perfect.

maybe your goals were too high. maybe you'd been asking for the impossible.

maybe this was the person God wanted for you
so your character could grow through dealing with his or her failings.

even though it often seems that God is slow to answer prayers,
no matter whether it's about a mate, or a job, or our children, or our finances, or anything else,
we have to remember that God doesn't wear a watch.

nor does he look at our human calendars.
he sees with eternal eyes.

he operates on an eternal timetable, according to his plan and his schedule.

if God seems to be running late, don't get impatient
and run ahead of him.

wait for the Lord's timing in everything.

being alone or simply being single means you have
the time to grow and be the person you want to be.

single gives you space to grow.

sometimes, it is harder to grow when you are too close to someone.

trees are planted far apart so they can spread their branches and become strong as they mature.

single means learning to live by yourself.

however, that is no more difficult than learning
to live with somebody else.

single means freedom.

you are free to spend a week's vacation on the beach,
to take computer courses, to work late on an interesting project,
to spend the day in bed with a good book or simply with a person who has read one.

single means learning not to need a man or woman
to make your life meaningful but learning to live
with a man or woman because you want to be with him or her.

single means that sometimes you will wonder
why you will bite your lip and feel wistful and wonder
if marriage is better.

ironically, yet quite happily, single is feeling good
about being in control of your life.

it is liking and respecting who you are and why you are.

single is realizing that being married is not necessarily better, it is merely different.

single means that there could be something wonderful
around the corner and you can take advantage of it.

being single means you are free to love again.

"to every thing there is a season, and a time to
every purpose under the heaven" - (eccl 3:1 kjv)