Philosophy of Ambiguity

And today we have the Philosophy of ambiguity lesson to
contemplate....

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor....

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

5. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

6. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

7. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

9. Is there another word for synonym?

10. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

11. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

12. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

13. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

14. Why do they lock petrol station toilets? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

15. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless, naked, or both?

16. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

17. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

18. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

19. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

20. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

21. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

22. How is it possible to have a civil war?

23. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

24. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

25. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

26. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

27. Why are haemorrhoids called "haemorrhoids" and not "asteroids"?

28. Why is it called the tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

29. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

30. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?